It’s the last checkin post for Round 1 of ROW80 this year. I’ve been missing in action for a little over a week now, struggling against the business of life, some health issues, and my feelings about certain domestic issues. I’ve cowered away from posting up any real posts, answering emails, all that sort of thing.
It’s easy to do with technology: just set up scheduled reposts and buffered tweets. Pinterest even has a scheduling app nowadays. So, I might have had the appearance to some that I was “present”, but really…I was cowering under the virtual (and sometimes real) duvet cover.
Although I’ve been writing – lots of prep-work on the upcoming A to Z Challenge, it hasn’t felt like it. I’ve spent hours and hours on it, doing up graphs and accompanying documents, and it hasn’t felt like writing. I’ve felt like I was faking it, not in the content, which I believe in, but in the “process”.
I think this is because I have a mountainous feeling of guilt over the abandonment of my draft WIP, part-way through revision.
That’s a good thing, I know, deep down. That I have that impetus to get back to it, even after hitting a wall on the draft, and not yet climbing over it. It’s a good thing, because I know that all these nagging emails and the work on blog posts, aren’t important in the scheme of things. That I want to write my story.
So, here’s the thing. I’m calling “enough” on the rest of it.
I have the commitment on for the A-Z Challenge starting Monday. And I’ll finish up my prep work, and also get ready for the actual post writing and publishing, and moving around to read everyone else’s post. I’m really looking forward to the fun and passion in that.
I also have some new online writing courses of various lengths and subjects starting up next week. But they are something that I can lurk in, take the knowledge and learn from at my own pace – the good thing about online courses. I am also involved in the Weekend Warriors course work from the Duolit team. It’s fantastic, and again, can be picked up and paced through in only a few hours, when I please.
But the rest – is going. Not without regret.
I’m calling “enough” on another course where the teacher is demanding hours and hours of homework, proof-reading of work she delivers late, and sends out emails that just ask for more more more because of her own deadlines, forgetting the fact we actually paid for the course in the first place. There, I said it. Now I have the courage to go say “Thank-you, but I can’t meet your demands as it is impacting my ability to write” to her emails.
I’m also saying “enough” on a couple of blog challenges for the short while. ROW80, Round 2 starts April 1st. Although I’ve traveled along with it for 18 months now, I just can’t find the time for the check-in posts. And with much regret, this one will need to give, for the round. And I accidentally missed the Insecure Writer’s Support Group post of last month, and may well miss it again next week, unless I cheat. I don’t want to cheat. I just want to release some time.
There are other things that will have to give also. Too long a list to give here. I hear your relief – posts like this one get me down a little also. They can seem defeatest, and also acknowledge that the poster has committed the sin of over-committing. Mwah.
But they’re part of life, yes?Part of finding our own writing process, and working through it, what we need, at that time.
And then…then there will be time for me, and my writing.
Good luck to my fellow ROW80 participants in the next round. I will occasionally stop by, to cheer you on.
See you on the other side.
My Goals for April
- A to Z Challenge posts and blog travels (Also Camp NaNo)
- Return to revision of Blue Popcorn.
- Weekend Warrior coursework
- Other writing courses, lurk and learn
- Easter with the family. Autumn school holidays with my family. Softball and netball training.